I am currently 14 1/2 weeks pregnant and feeling better and better by the moment. My baby is moving like crazy, although I can’t feel it, and can now hear everything we say and my heart beat. I’m in awe! It’s the first time my child is hearing it’s mommy and daddy’s voice! I have started writing down things in my “notes” on my phone to help me get out everything I want to say at the moment so when I write these blogs, I can share all of my thoughts and never forget them! I will share those at the end but before I continue, I want to talk about the awesome things going on with Beau and me.
We’ll start with me.
As you know, I work at The Quad (the old Imperial Palace) as a Dealertainer which has truly been a great job over the last year. But, I’m looking in to becoming a cocktail waitress there so I can lessen my hours and make the same living while I’m carrying this baby. On August 1 I will be putting in my application and it’s looking very promising! Working 40 hours a week right now is proving to be so difficult. Plus, I start back to school in the fall and to be pregnant, go to the school full time, and work a demanding job is just going to be too stressful!
When it comes to Beau’s work, he’s been working both jobs still at the Bellagio and Venetian and seems to never catch a break, poor guy. He works day and night and although it’s helped a lot money-wise, I know it’s taking a toll on him. Something we’ve really been praying for is a good position for him at the end of the summer in the nightclub, Lavo. Well, just recently, his boss told him he is his top candidate! This is so exciting because having these 2 incomes from him has been great and if the one ends at the end of the summer it’s going to take some adjusting but now, we don’t have to worry! Beau was also going back and fourth to Camp Cartwheel this last week and loving it so much, as usual 🙂
As far as we both go, OUR HOUSE IS FINALLY SET TO CLOSE THIS WEEK! We will officially be home owners. Can you believe the year we’re having? Marriage, baby, home?? It has become really real this month because we purchased all of our appliances! Brand new! God has been so good to us 🙂
Here’s our 12 1/2 week ultrasound picture!
We also found out what they think the baby is, but we’re not telling until we know for sure 😉
I have to write another blog with more pictures and to talk about our trip to California, however, I want this to be primarily about the baby. So as promised, here are a couple things I have taken down in “Notes” when I felt it was necessary to remember.
On July 13:
“Having an emotional day today. I bought an audio book called mommy iq and naturally, I’m listening to month 6 when I’m only month 3. It’s killing me not to be able to hold my little baby. I love him or her so much already. I had a moment the other day on my way home from work, singing some Carrie underwood, and it hit me, this little baby will soon be hearing me sing while in my belly. They will be sitting in the back seat listening to all the conversations their dad and I have. Next summer, we’ll be at the beach with our little 7 month old. Everytime I start to think of this stuff I get teary eyed. But today is even worse. I’m listening to this woman talk about what a miracle it is to have this little one and I couldn’t agree more. I think it’s important I write this down so I can share with you, little one, how your mommy was feeling before she could even feel you move. You are more important to me than anything in this world ever has been and I love you with every single piece of my heart (even the part that is fully dedicated to your father). You are my life and soul and I cannot wait to meet you.”
On July 25:
“Being pregnant comes with so many side effects. It’s not all about the cute clothes, adorable ultrasound pictures, and constant rubbing of the belly by your husband. Oh no. Yes, a lot of time “happy” is the feeling you experience. But when they say that pregnancy changes you, they weren’t kidding. Yes, I’ve mentioned my somewhat subtle morning sickness and I’ve also discovered as of a week ago that I cannot eat ice cream any more with out throwing up (a discovery that has been more depressing than most things in my life). I’ve also been put on sleep medication because I haven’t been able to sleep since the little one came about! But unfortunately, on one of my nights off last week I experienced my first real panic attack. I took my medication and headed to bed with beau and all of the sudden, this cloud of anxiety came over me. I started crying uncontrollably and couldn’t get horrible thoughts out of my head. We are in the process of closing a home and at the time, things weren’t going as planned and I think that was a big part of the reason my crazy thoughts kicked it in to high gear. My poor husband couldn’t say anything to calm me down and I had to text my mom (Just another reason why moms are just so wonderful and why I am SO EXCITED TO BE ONE). After about 45 minutes, I calmed down and went to sleep. And since then, everything has appeared to be pretty normal. Since I am in my second trimester, I hear things are supposed to go smoother; that my sickness will completely dissipate and that I will feel like I can “conquer the world”.”
I know the second one is not as happy as you would expect from me and I don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea. I just want people to understand that it is normal to be scared and have strange, and sometimes unbelievable, things happen to you during your pregnancy. Don’t think you’re crazy because when I have these moments, that’s how I feel but I have been reassured by so many more experience moms than me that this is totally normal and that I am beyond blessed to have a husband that is so calm and amazing during these spells.
I don’t know what I would do without him!